Well fuck me what a week!
I’ve been back at work for nearly 4 months now, 3 of those I spent working part time.
Since going on maternity leave my hubby got himself a new job ..,,
This new job means lots of away trips – most weeks …
It was easy to cope with when I was on Mat leave because I was just a Mum – things are very different now though, I’m back at work – full time.
I can’t afford not to work full time, I HAVE to. There is no part time option. This is mainly because we want a nice house in a nice village & to create a nice life for our kids.
However …..
Just lately, it’s been very difficult for me to try & balance the home/work thing. It’s terribly difficult & I’m not the kind of person that moans on about how difficult it is to balance life & work but it’s kinda come to a head.
I just can’t do it.
I feel so desperate, that somehow I’m failing my family that I can’t do it, that I made my bed I need to lie in it.
My family is everything – my every waking moment is geared up to provide a good life for them – just sometimes things get on top of you y’know.
I feel really quite down just now but I’m sure it’ll get better – it’s got to.
I live & breathe so that my children have a nice life. I don’t like to moan about my. “lifestyle choices” but sometimes, just sometimes it does some good …..
Twitter
Hi Mel,
I know what you are feeling as I have been in that place you are at too.
Although it was a few years ago, but I truly know how hard it is. We would die for our kids. I knew I couldn’t go on, so took a huge risk to start my own business.
Only you can decide what the future holds, but running yourself into the ground is not the answer
Vicky x
Hey Mel
Just read that and really can relate to it. I did same jump from mat leave, to p/t then back to full time and i get same feelings. I bet you are doing a sterling job mind kidda.
Hi Melissa, you are at a hard point in life: work, small kids, family….And you are doing other stuff as well, like community work, Darlovelo etc.
Just do not feel that you are not doing enough for Darlovelo, it is great what you are doing, nothing more needed. I already started admiring your enthusiasm and was totally in awe when I realised you had three kids.
The kids grow, it will get easier, but it takes time and patience. Remember to do something just for yourself sometimes, treat yourself off and on, that helps.
Bx
sorry you’re feeling so bad about trying to balance everything, it must be exhausting. I don’t know what this feels like myself, but remember my Mam (I’m one of six kids) who had to work when we were young, once saying she worried about not having spent more time with us (she worked in the evenings, the local chippie, factories etc). She is the best and most perfect mam in the world – and the fact she worked so hard for us another reason to love and appreciate her. Anyhow, take care of yourself, and hope things feel less overwhelming soon. x
Thanks everyone, I do feel so much better after a good rant!
Sometimes it does you good to just let go huh?
I do a good job, we both do, I just have to look at my kids & husband & know that it’s all worthwhile
Cheers!!!
I was debating whether to post a very similar blog from Canada! It’s been a huuuuuuge shock to the system. I’ve always worked full time since Miri was born, but then, she got to come to work with me so it was never an issue. But now I am working full time and Miri is in daycare 8 hours a day, five days a week. When I get her home, we are both exhausted. Worse, I am on my own with her while hubby is still in the UK. Poor baby is still adjusting to Daddy not being around, Mummy not being there during the day, AND being in a new house in a new country, and unsurprisingly she is a bit Unsettled – a euphemism for wailing at me constantly for two hours or so virtually every night. It is exhausting, I feel like I can’t cope, that I’m not doing the right thing, and that it is all too much but that there’s nothing I can do about it now.
So, yeah, I hear ya. And it DOES all get better as soon as you’ve had some sleep and you wake up to sunshine and your beautiful baby.
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